This month’s moment is by Roy Searle, a writer, leadership mentor, retreat leader and member of the Renovare Board in Britain and Ireland.
My wife and I ventured into the Cheviot Hills of Northumberland the other week to listen to the cuckoos, who had returned from the warmer climes of Africa. Walking through the valley, we did so quietly in order that we might hear the male birds’ distinctive, iconic, two-syllable, hollow, two-note melodic “cu-coo” and the bubbling chuckle, “kwik-kwak,” of his female mate. In the silence, we heard.
We rarely have the opportunity to be in a geographical place of silence, such as a deserted valley. Our lives are more often lived out in the context of constant or background noise. I am reminded of the story of an Aborigine visiting New York for the first time. His host walked him around Manhattan, where the buzz of the city could be heard on every street. The Aborigine stopped for a moment and asked his friend, “Did you hear that?” “Hear what?” asked his bemused host. “The cicadas chirping,” replied the Aborigine. His host had not, but the Aborigine, listening carefully, found and gently cupped the insect in his hands and said to his friend, “It depends on what you’re listening to.”
Back in the late 1980’s, as a busy senior pastor of a large evangelical charismatic church, I was, as usual, in my study on the eve of preaching the following day. My younger son, Joshua, came into the room, and I was glad to see him and be interrupted. “Hi, Joshua. It’s good to see you. What do you want?” “Nothing, Dad.” What followed was a series of questions: “Would you like a story? Should we play a game? Are you hungry? Would you like a drink? Are you OK with your brother and sister?” Each question was met with a, “No, Dad.” Having exhausted the gamut of questions, I asked in puzzlement, “Joshua, what do you want?” To which came a reply that was to change not only my ministry but my life: “I just want to be with you!” Scripture says that it is out of the mouths of children (Psalm 8:2), and it was out of the mouth of my young son that God reached deep into my heart and heard my soul’s desire. The busy, activist, ‘successful,’ achieving pastor had forgotten that which is the most important thing: relationship with God. I had become too busy working for God rather than being with God. I was good at speaking about God, speaking for God but I had neglected my relationship with God and listening to His heartbeat for my life and the world. I was caught up in running the church, overseeing and directing its programmes, doing lots of stuff – ministry but paying scant attention to being with God. The transforming relationship that God had brought me into through Christ had become impoverished by my lack of communion with God, embracing the invitation and gift of grace that comes from being with God.
Dallas Willard taught that being with God is not some future destination but a present reality: a transformational relationship that helps us realise that we are designed for communion, for friendship with God, abiding with Christ in the everyday, ordinary experiences of life. It is the “With-God life” that Dallas describes as a transformative approach to Christian spiritual formation, focusing on being with, listening to and sharing life with God. This delivers us from arid religious practices. Right doctrines are no substitute for relationship with the living God. Religious observance is no alternative to being with God. The call to contemplation is not confined to a cloistered or celibate life vocation but to all who follow Christ. “Being with” and embracing the disciplines of silence and solitude in the midst of life’s busyness reminds us of the priority of relationship and aids us in our listening and responding to the Spirit of God. It is the call to be contemplatives in a world of action that should capture all our hearts and direct our paths at all times.